Recipes
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INSTAGRAM
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Rise of the Burning Cockroach
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A Treatment of Central Nugg Theory – or – Taking the Limit of Sugar-Butter Divinity
Avecilla, et al. 1. Nug / Spiral / Outer Edge Preferences in the General Population and Preference Optimization Functions Human taste preferences play a role in cinnamon roll consumption patterns, roll per capita volume, and general attitudes toward cinnamon rolls. Sub-optimal roll structures are hypothesized to contribute to interpersonal strife, disappointment with the state of the universe, and susceptibility to neo-dadaist cults. In order to investigate these phenomena, we pursue an experimentalist approach, varying the internal fine-structure of the dough, cinnamon filling, and frosting. In addition, we refine the cinnamon roll as a modern meta-material, incorporating meso-scale patterning that is shown to focus the pleasure wave experiences. Situating our study…
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Eggsthetics
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Eggsthetics
I recently learned of a product for cooking eggs in a way that forms the yolk into an emoji in the center of the egg, from a video about “useless” kitchen products. But for humans, food is something that goes beyond mere survival, utility. Food acts on the level of culture, not just biological need. This product for creating egg emojis is a perfect example of how food for us is transcendent beyond the need for sustenance. We use this product to aestheticize the egg, as we aestheticize and encode all food with cultural meaning. So this egg product may indeed be useless. Yet uselessness exhibits the essence of food…
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Unnecessarily Overpowered Kitchen Gadgets
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Anti-Gadget
OK, never do this. Preparation: Your Stubbs BBQ Sauce is running low, and it’s all at the bottom of the plastic bottle. It’s also cold from the fridge, so even though you could turn it over and leave it for a bit, the sauce is not going to make it to the top and come out anytime soon. Then: Put the tightly capped bottle into your over-powered microwave and zap it on high for 30 seconds. The idea being of course to heat the sauce up and make it runny so it will come out. Watch the bottle balloon to the size of a grapefruit, and thank god the timer…
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Ode til Torsk
3AM lying in the bottom of our boat drunk as fishwives strung on hooks of Everclear we'd brewed with midnight sun brighter in our eyes than any moonshine, singing hymns to the cod in Norwegian Gunstig fisk! Utgaven av havet Eldste sønn av havet Flott fisk av havet! (Beneficent Fish! Issue of the Ocean Eldest son of the Ocean Great fish of the Ocean!) and the fish would rise to our voices, to our lures on ropes barely tied to the oarlocks Dde rolige og rene herlighetene Av havets dusør gitt Omrøring gjennom vår dødelige ramme Vend jorden selv til himmelen! (The calm and pure delights By ocean's bounty given…
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Schmalkaldisher Kuchen
Riffing on America’s Test Kitchen Whisk together in medium bowl: 1-1/4 C Flour 1-1/4 C Old Fashioned Oats 1/2 t Baking Soda 1/2 t Baking Powder 1 t Salt Cream together in large bowl: 16 T (1 C) softened butter 1 C Brown Sugar 1 C White Sugar Add, one at a time, mixing to blend 2 Große Eier 1 C Crunchy Peanut Butter 2 t Vanilla 1 C peanuts freshly ground Dry ingredients 1 C (170g) chocolate chips Bake at 350 until gently pouffed, and delicately browned around the margins.
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Gra Prao
2T Rotten Fish Water 3T Rotten Bean Water 3T Decaying Oyster Goo 2T Sugar Flying dinosaur reproductive orb, fry one in oil per diner Flying dinosaur muscle, 1kg, finely chopped 10 garlic 10 thai chili 2 green chili 500g green vegetable 1 onion 1 bunch basil Directions: stir fry until chemical warfare meets flavor explosion
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Eggsthetics
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Improved Pecan Pie
Graham Cracker Crust Custard Filling Bourbon-Pecan Caramel
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Eggsthetics
