• Recipes

    A Treatment of Central Nugg Theory – or – Taking the Limit of Sugar-Butter Divinity

    Avecilla, et al. 1. Nug / Spiral / Outer Edge Preferences in the General Population and Preference Optimization Functions Human taste preferences play a role in cinnamon roll consumption patterns, roll per capita volume, and general attitudes toward cinnamon rolls. Sub-optimal roll structures are hypothesized to contribute to interpersonal strife, disappointment with the state of the universe, and susceptibility to neo-dadaist cults. In order to investigate these phenomena, we pursue an experimentalist approach, varying the internal fine-structure of the dough, cinnamon filling, and frosting. In addition, we refine the cinnamon roll as a modern meta-material, incorporating meso-scale patterning that is shown to focus the pleasure wave experiences. Situating our study…

  • Here I Stand,  Popes,  Theses

    Turn 5: Schmalkaldic League

    The Ottomans made a not wholly successful, but certainly not unsuccessful attempt at invading Belgrade. The siege of Belgrade failed to take the city, but the Hungarian-Bohemian defense forces lost many of their ground troops. The Ottomans continue to be aloof from European affairs, a spectre haunting Europe from the East. The pirate port at Algiers laid in wait. The Hapsburgs while struggling to control their fragmented Empire, continue to have a great deal of wealth and prestige. Charles V was coronated Holy Roman Emperor by Pope Paul III in Vienna. Spain launched a voyage of conquest to the New World. Conquistador de Cordova landed at the Mayan shores, in…

  • Here I Stand,  Popes,  Theses

    Turn: Four

    Extremely vigorous theological debates, reformation, and counter-reformation in Southern Germany. Nuremburg, Mainz, and Salzburg switching sides several times. The French made an early Spring attempt on Portsmouth, but were repulsed by the English navy. Protestant debater Latimer felt the flames of hell rising around him as he burnt at the stake. The French tried their luck again in England, took Portsmouth, but at Bristol a series of fire-breathing snakes launched a counterattack, and drove the French back to their dog-shaped tents.

  • Here I Stand,  Recipes

    Schmalkaldisher Kuchen

    Riffing on America’s Test Kitchen Whisk together in medium bowl: 1-1/4 C Flour 1-1/4 C Old Fashioned Oats 1/2 t Baking Soda 1/2 t Baking Powder 1 t Salt Cream together in large bowl: 16 T (1 C) softened butter 1 C Brown Sugar 1 C White Sugar Add, one at a time, mixing to blend 2 Große Eier 1 C Crunchy Peanut Butter 2 t Vanilla 1 C peanuts freshly ground Dry ingredients 1 C (170g) chocolate chips Bake at 350 until gently pouffed, and delicately browned around the margins.

  • Here I Stand,  Popes,  Theses

    Turn: One

    The Papacy faced an immediate threat from Martin Luther’s heretics after the 95 theses. Luther embarked on a virulent disinformation campaign, leading thousands of German parishioners astray. Within three years, ten cities had become hotbeds of fundamentalist dissent. When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, “Repent” (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance. This word cannot be understood as referring to the sacrament of penance, that is, confession and satisfaction, as administered by the clergy. Yet it does not mean solely inner repentance; such inner repentance is worthless unless it produces various outward mortification of the flesh. The penalty of sin remains…

  • Here I Stand,  Popes,  Theses

    Turn: Three

    The Papacy largely sat upon its laurels for most of 1528-1531, with the newly crowned Pope Clement VII taking stock of the status of Christendom. In a surprising move, the new Pope granted annulment to Henry VIII, severing England’s ties to the Hapsburg Empire, and severely straining relations between the Vatican and Vienna. Martin Luther and his protestants converted Cologne, Augsburg, and Regensburg, and the Pope’s feeble attempts at Counter-Reformation had little effect. Clearly the new faith is finding fertile ground in the German speaking principalities. The Ottoman empire under Suleiman the Great was largely engaged in a war with Persia along their southern borders. They emerged victorious and their…

  • Here I Stand,  Popes,  Theses

    Turn: Two, Fourth May

    In France, feudal lords in St. Quentin and Tours struggled with peasant uprisings. Hundreds of local subsistence farmers laid siege to their rightful lords’ estates, wielding torches and pitchforks, and demanding bread and pork. They demanded to know why they should deliver tithes up to their lordships, offering the toil of their backs and beasts, working 20 whole hours per week on average while the gentry live in sloth. Unrest lasted through the winter of 1523, with the King offering no help from Paris. Meanwhile in the New World, France sent their intrepid explorers to discover riches, and charted the Amazon River. Unimaginable rainforests are now under French Dominion, and…

  • Recipes

    Gra Prao

    2T Rotten Fish Water 3T Rotten Bean Water 3T Decaying Oyster Goo 2T Sugar Flying dinosaur reproductive orb, fry one in oil per diner Flying dinosaur muscle, 1kg, finely chopped 10 garlic 10 thai chili 2 green chili 500g green vegetable 1 onion 1 bunch basil Directions: stir fry until chemical warfare meets flavor explosion