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Did the Early Middle Ages Really Exist?
This fascinating exploration of the subject concludes: No. This question in itself – and more so the answer ‘NO, the early Middle Ages did not exist’ – is surprising, to say the least. It contradicts all basic knowledge and attacks the historian’s selfrespect to such an extreme that the reader of this paper is asked to be patient, benevolent and open to radically new ideas. I shall argue step by step – and, I hope, you will follow. With a group of friends (Müller 1992; Illig 1991; Niemitz 1991; Zeller 1991; Marx 1993; Topper 1994) I have been doing research on this subject since 1990. This is the reason for…
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INSTAGRAM
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Rise of the Burning Cockroach
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A Treatment of Central Nugg Theory – or – Taking the Limit of Sugar-Butter Divinity
Avecilla, et al. 1. Nug / Spiral / Outer Edge Preferences in the General Population and Preference Optimization Functions Human taste preferences play a role in cinnamon roll consumption patterns, roll per capita volume, and general attitudes toward cinnamon rolls. Sub-optimal roll structures are hypothesized to contribute to interpersonal strife, disappointment with the state of the universe, and susceptibility to neo-dadaist cults. In order to investigate these phenomena, we pursue an experimentalist approach, varying the internal fine-structure of the dough, cinnamon filling, and frosting. In addition, we refine the cinnamon roll as a modern meta-material, incorporating meso-scale patterning that is shown to focus the pleasure wave experiences. Situating our study…
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Eggsthetics
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Eggsthetics
I recently learned of a product for cooking eggs in a way that forms the yolk into an emoji in the center of the egg, from a video about “useless” kitchen products. But for humans, food is something that goes beyond mere survival, utility. Food acts on the level of culture, not just biological need. This product for creating egg emojis is a perfect example of how food for us is transcendent beyond the need for sustenance. We use this product to aestheticize the egg, as we aestheticize and encode all food with cultural meaning. So this egg product may indeed be useless. Yet uselessness exhibits the essence of food…
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Unnecessarily Overpowered Kitchen Gadgets
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Feckless Butterfly
feckless butterfly flight that stuttered orange is the new black a dead monarch on the sand its wings pressed flat by the unabridged tide the dictionary of water from anemone to zebra fish I said to you pointing that's him that's the bastard the one who's tiny hands fluttered and the flutter became the headwinds the tornados au poivre the chaos the hurricanes that tore apart our shore and I have butterflies in my stomach in the twitch of my eyes, the itch in my arms to fly the downlegs the doglegs to visit the…
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Rise of the Burning Cockroach
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Stingray
bleach baby beach bones walking down the boygirl burial sand I step on a fury of roses thorns from the vine of casket-strength sea spines tail of tales of sting-ray die-off sun's rays sea's rays sting rays risibly risking sun and waves of denial anger grief the long spike spiked with shark tooth hunger red sun rising in a weather bloom off my foot rose madder and madder and madder still life blood nor pain are lightfast offshore seals moan what's my tune sharp scaled staccato of bones
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Anti-Gadget
OK, never do this. Preparation: Your Stubbs BBQ Sauce is running low, and it’s all at the bottom of the plastic bottle. It’s also cold from the fridge, so even though you could turn it over and leave it for a bit, the sauce is not going to make it to the top and come out anytime soon. Then: Put the tightly capped bottle into your over-powered microwave and zap it on high for 30 seconds. The idea being of course to heat the sauce up and make it runny so it will come out. Watch the bottle balloon to the size of a grapefruit, and thank god the timer…
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Radiohead
waking again with hair sticking up like antlers, my COVID doo and don't, pillow wet where dreamwater leaked from the corner of my mouth now the grass-fed belly of clouds and thinking to gut them – slice them open with the knife edge of my palm, hang them to bleed out then salt and dry or better my hair is a field of antennae scanning for life, where Heaven plays its Top 10 hits on the radio telescope in my skull
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Turn 5: Schmalkaldic League
The Ottomans made a not wholly successful, but certainly not unsuccessful attempt at invading Belgrade. The siege of Belgrade failed to take the city, but the Hungarian-Bohemian defense forces lost many of their ground troops. The Ottomans continue to be aloof from European affairs, a spectre haunting Europe from the East. The pirate port at Algiers laid in wait. The Hapsburgs while struggling to control their fragmented Empire, continue to have a great deal of wealth and prestige. Charles V was coronated Holy Roman Emperor by Pope Paul III in Vienna. Spain launched a voyage of conquest to the New World. Conquistador de Cordova landed at the Mayan shores, in…
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Ode til Torsk
3AM lying in the bottom of our boat drunk as fishwives strung on hooks of Everclear we'd brewed with midnight sun brighter in our eyes than any moonshine, singing hymns to the cod in Norwegian Gunstig fisk! Utgaven av havet Eldste sønn av havet Flott fisk av havet! (Beneficent Fish! Issue of the Ocean Eldest son of the Ocean Great fish of the Ocean!) and the fish would rise to our voices, to our lures on ropes barely tied to the oarlocks Dde rolige og rene herlighetene Av havets dusør gitt Omrøring gjennom vår dødelige ramme Vend jorden selv til himmelen! (The calm and pure delights By ocean's bounty given…
